Thursday, April 11, 2013

Preparing for Conference

Hello dearest family!! Sounds like everyone had a wonderful week! I'm jealous that y’all have already been able to watch General Conference! I have been fasting and praying in anticipation to hear the powerful words of the leaders of the church. It's strange to think that it will be my last conference here in Korea, but I am excited for the special messages I'll be able to hear and apply to both myself, and those I am serving.

This week.. well it has been hard. If I would have written y’all last weekend, I know my attitude and words would have been a lot different then what I will be writing to you today. 

With new beginnings and new transfers and companions, it is hard to make adjustments sometimes. There has been lots of frustrations, tears, misunderstandings, hurtful words, and long conversations. But I know that, without these experiences, we would not be given the opportunity to learn something new and grow.

This past week we have talked a lot about pride. What pride is, whether or not we can see it in others (if we can, it usually means that we have it as well), how we get rid of pride... these have been questions on my mind a lot.  Seeing weaknesses in yourself, or having others point them out to you, is never an enjoyable experience. Either way, it gives us a very special chance. It gives us the chance to do a self inventory and ask Heavenly Father how we can, and should, change.  (For truly, His opinion is the only one that matters).

This past week I realized that I was fighting off that conversation. I didn't want to have it because I was afraid of what I would feel. The moment that thought popped into my head, I realized how wrong it was. Change is good. Change brings us closer to Father in Heaven, and a prayer of repentance is what helps us feel more deeply the love of our Savior. Why wouldn't anyone want that experience? Pride is within all of us. I realize now, that I have let too much of it creep into my heart. If there is pride in my heart, that means there is part of my heart that is not full of the Love of Christ, and that part needs to go. I had an interesting thought the other night. We are the supreme creations of a loving Father in Heaven. Our bodies and spirit are sacred, they are our personal Temples. Just as we are to be worthy to enter into the House of the Lord, we must be worthy for the Lord to reside within us. And like the Celestial Room of the Temple, the place where we can feel closest to God, our hearts need to be the Celestial Room of our souls. Our hearts need to not only be a place where God can visit, but a place where He can reside forever.

I understand a little bit more of who I need to become, and what I need to change. I know that this change will take time, and there will probably be a few more nights of tears, but I am excited for the opportunity to fill another chamber of my heart with the bright love of Heavenly Father. I pray that this General Conference will help me understand what I need to do to be more and do better.

Other phases of the work went well this past week. We had the miracle of meeting an old investigator on the subway and we were able to meet with her last week. We have an appointment with her today again!! I met with her when I first came to this area, and then she stopped meeting with us in January. I can see such a difference in her now.  She seems more ready to accept the message, more hungry to know the truth. I'm excited to teach her again the beautiful message of the Restoration.  It will be amazing! 

My companion and I were working hard this last week calling old contacts, Less Actives, and members for appointments and such.  I'm grateful for her and her words.  Of course she can use Korean FAR better than I, but the way she uses her words, full of understanding and love, is a wonderful gift.  Makes me not want to say anything at all for fear that I'll ruin it all! Haha

Yesterday, we had Zone Conference and it was FILLED with new things to learn. Sister Gilbert had just a small meeting with all of the sisters and it was my favorite part. How grateful I am for her mother's heart. It is what we sisters need!! She shared a scripture with us and a new perspective that I really enjoyed.  D&C 42:6 - "Lifting up your voices as... like unto angels". What does an angels voice sound like? What words would proceed from their mouths?  What messages would they allow to pass through their thoughts and their words? We are the angels of the world, as missionaries and as members. We are to lift up our voices, declaring, as angels have before and will continue to do, the glorious Gospel!  We are to allow our voices, our conversations, our words and deeds, also reflect the Divinity we have within each of us.

It's been a week of deep thinking, and I have a feeling that it will only continue, especially after General Conference!  But I am thankful for the times in our lives that allow us to see us as we are now, how we need to change, and who we can become, with the Savior. I know this Gospel is true. I know people are not perfect, but I know that this gospel is. I know the Savior is full of perfect love and is Perfect to Save. And I know that both He, and the Father, know us perfectly, yet they love us unconditionally. For that I am truly thankful.

I love you family!! Thank you for everything that you do for me.
Thanks for the thoughts and the prayers!

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